Baywatch, as a TV series, was a dumb beach drama with bad dialogue, lame scenarios & bland character development. All of it was held together by Dirk Nowitzki’s favorite singer: David Hasselhoff. Good or bad, I have a lot of respect for his hustle, regardless of the franchises he’s inherited, especially Baywatch Nights So, when I saw the film, I didn’t take it seriously, since the actual show was a farce. No way you could remake it today as a forgettable action-adventure drama, that takes itself with such importance; it’s why I like this film for cutting through the show’s nonsense.
The Rock plays Mitch Buchanan, who notices a pouch what looks to be pouches of Crystal Meth going around Emerald Bay. Buchanan is a highly respected lifeguard (he’s a lieutenant, y’all. A damn lifeguard) who goes beyond his own bounds to protect the “bay”, but protecting comes at a price, when his boss, Rob Thorpe, played by Rob Huebel, who wants him to recruit the most irredeemable Olympian this side of Ryan Lochte in Matt Brody (Zac Efron) to improve the image of Baywatch & dealing with Priyanka Chopra’s Victoria Leeds, who’s a thorn in the side of Baywatch.
What can you say about The Rock, at this point. Charisma’s there, so is his energy & timing. He carries a movie like this as he always does. Chopra’s effective & is smooth in her role. While I did wish she had more to do as a foil, she plays her part as the script says. Efron is fine, as he usually is in these movies, but sometimes I wonder, if he’s as good as people says he is, since High School Musical was a big stepping stone for his career. His lack of range does show up here, at times. Alexandra Daddario plays her role as Summer Quinn. I didn’t love her acting, but she was fine. IIfenesh Hadera was a little bit better, but was given little to do, save for a couple of scenes. Now, Jon Bass’s Ronnie was really funny. His introduction was hilarious. Been saying that word a lot to describe this movie: fine. Not great or very good, but fine. While I did do a lot of laughing at it, the movie falls short of, perhaps, not putting in more cameos to assist it. Even though Hasselhoff & Pam Anderson play their allotted parts, I would’ve liked to have seen Carmen Electra, Alexandra Paul, and others. It also a little too long, as well. Worth a look, but I would probably matinee it. I wouldn’t rush out to theaters to see it.
Good: The Rock, Self-aware of its source material & Priyanka Chopra
Bad: Runs a bit too long (nearly 2 hours long), some jokes don’t land, could’ve used some more cameos from Baywatch.
Baywatch Nights Season 2: Worst. Syndicated. Show. Ever.
3 out of 5
The Film Wanderer 